10 Steps to a Collaborative Divorce

Step 1.     Talk to a collaborative professional

When you’re ready to separate from your spouse, the first call you make should be a collaborative professional. He or she can explain the process, listen to your story, and help you make a plan. 

Step 2.     Build your collaborative team

You and your spouse will both retain a collaborative lawyer and all together you’ll decide on the other team professionals to involve in the process. We often recommend a family professional and a financial professional to reduce cost, get expert advice and offer support and coaching.

Step 3.     Gather your documents

Just like any other divorce process, it is vital that both spouses have all the information needed to make big decisions. All financial information must be collected and shared, including income and expenses where support is an issue. This can be a big job, but full disclosure is your right and obligation.

Step 4.     Follow good meeting etiquette

Agendas, progress notes and pre- and post-meeting briefings are important parts of the collaborative process. These keep everyone on track and on the same page.

Step 5.     Have a collaborative meeting

When everyone is ready and has clear expectations, the first meeting can be very productive. Step one is to review and sign the participation agreement, which outlines the rules of engaging in the process.

Step 6.     Have another collaborative meeting

Your process is your process, and every family is different. Sometimes a few meetings are needed to resolve all the concerns between you. Sometimes you’ll meet with the family or financial professional alone or together with your spouse to discuss a question that’s come up. Your collaborative professionals will help you decide when meetings are needed.

Step 7.     You make the decisions

Key to the collaborative process is that you and your spouse make the decisions. The team helps you decide what the issues are and what information is needed to reach agreements, but at the end of the day, you decide what to do. This is very different to court, where judges decide.

Step 8.     Document an agreement

Once you’ve reached an agreement, your handy collaborative lawyers will draft a separation agreement for you. You’ll have a chance to review the agreement all together and then sign it. Collaborative meetings mean you and your spouse have the same explanation of the agreement, which should result in the same understanding and follow-through on the terms.

Step 9.     When it’s the right time, file for divorce

Not everyone gets a divorce right away, and sometimes it’s too early for a divorce under the Divorce Act. When the time is right, your collaborative lawyer can help you file for a joint divorce. The separation agreement (and other documents) are filed with the court, and normally a judge can sign off on the divorce order without anyone attending court in person. Talk to your collaborative lawyer about timing, because the divorce process usually takes a couple of months to finalize.

Step 10.  Carry on

Getting a divorce under any circumstances can be stressful and emotionally draining. Once you’re through the paperwork and decisions, you can now focus on living your life. Your agreement and your collaborative team are there to help you if you need them.